I had what felt like a manic couple of days at the beginning of the week, with lots of thoughts whirling through my mind and lots of excitement and enthusiasm about DARE. I've mellowed since, due to the fatigue overtaking me- but that's the beauty of a group blog- it doesn't 'die' just because I'm too tired or brain foggy to update things. I hope for it to be a very much alive thing, even when the team aren't blogging. I'm hoping for input from others as much as possible too, whether it's submission of personal stories for the PANS page, or whether its ideas/pictures/articles to be included within the blog (personal credit will be given).
This week, fatigue wise, hasn't been the best but I've managed to push through it. I go in and help my Mum who is a teacher and I find that being with the children boosts me a little bit temporarily, because I forget my pain and I don't feel as tired. I'm more tired afterwards, but it's worth it.
I've noticed myself having a lot of aching and cracking in my joints this week which is giving me a general feeling of malaise. Emotionally, I find myself veering from positivity and determination to feeling pretty darn fed up and wishing I wasn't so damn tired all the time!
Waiting for April 9th also feels like an age... even though it's gotten closer, it's like the closer it is, the longer the wait seems.
"I can live my life with this condition and make it a damn good life, full of great times- the stuff of wonderful memories, so when I'm old in my rocking chair looking back at it all I can think DAMN. I lived WELL. Oh yes. That I will do, no matter WHAT." ~ Me, Jan 11, 2010.
I thought it was the dish that ran away with the spoons?
Well, in the nursery rhyme it is but for me it's POTS!
Click this for an explanation of POTS
And this for an explanation of SPOONS
Click this for an explanation of POTS
And this for an explanation of SPOONS
About Me
- Laura
- United Kingdom
- I love photography, nature, the countryside, spending time with my boyfriend and my friends, fun, laughter and dancing.
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2010
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March
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- Update on my career investigations...
- I can't believe I'm even contemplating this...
- More thoughts.
- Living life to the full
- Am excited!
- Decisions, decisions
- Amusing brain foggy moments...
- So sleepy
- Been busy over at DARE
- Are You Too Nice?
- Thinking and blogging.
- Biggest Fear...
- Mother's Day
- I'm doing good!
- Website
- The emotional strain... Follow up
- The emotional strain...
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March
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Dysautonomia Demystified.
Dysautonomia is a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. The ANS controls all the things you don't think about, like digestion, body temperature, blood pressure, heart rate.
The form I have is called "POTS".
"POTS" stands for "Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome" which in simple terms is rapid heartbeat when standing.
That's only one of the symptoms. It's called a 'syndrome' because there are a vast array of other symptoms involved. Because it's a disorder of the ANS, anything which that controls can malfunction.
The symptoms I personally experience are:
*Fatigue: POTS can be draining and even debilitating as it takes 3 times as much energy just to stand up when you have it, therefore doing every day things is like running on the spot all the time- if an ordinary person did that, they'd be tired! That's the reality of living with POTS- you have no choice- you can't "stop running" because your body is keeping you 'running' (physiologically) all the time you are standing.
*I also have Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia, which is a speedy heart rate all the time, even when I'm 'resting'. This means that for me, even sitting down is like jogging on the spot, or doing star-jumps. Basically, it's like my body never truly gets to rest. So I'm pretty much always tired!
(Check out The Spoon Theory for a good explanation of what it's like living with limited energy and having to forward plan everything to make sure you don't leave yourself short).
*Overactive Bladder (nervous system controls it, nerve signals aren't working right)
*Excess Thirst/Dehydration (if ever I find out why I have this, it'll be a miracle!)
*Migraines, or if not migraines, certainly frequent headaches.
*Neck and back pain
*Muscle aches/joint pain
*Brain fog- which makes a person forgetful and slow in their thinking, have difficulty accessing information stored in the brain, e.g. difficulty finding the right word, finishing sentences, remembering what to do and how- it's like having senile dementia; I joke about the dozy things I've done because of it because you have to laugh, otherwise you'd cry! Having an illness that disrupts your whole body is one thing, having it try to take your mind as well is another.
*Gastro-intestinal problems- bloating, reflux, feeling full quickly
*Disturbed sleep patterns (aka not sleeping well and also not feeling as if your sleep is restful even when you do).
*Involuntary muscle jerks when I'm trying to relax/sleep.
*Feeling as if I can't get enough oxygen, even though I'm breathing fine (very weird).
*Fidgety, always 'wired' feeling (makes it hard to truly relax)
*Feeling overstimulated easily
*Not being able to stand still for too long, due to excessive heart rate climbing higher and higher, which makes me feel physically 'stressed'.
There's possibly more but brain-fog makes one forgetful... I think that's enough to paint a picture anyways!
The form I have is called "POTS".
"POTS" stands for "Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome" which in simple terms is rapid heartbeat when standing.
That's only one of the symptoms. It's called a 'syndrome' because there are a vast array of other symptoms involved. Because it's a disorder of the ANS, anything which that controls can malfunction.
The symptoms I personally experience are:
*Fatigue: POTS can be draining and even debilitating as it takes 3 times as much energy just to stand up when you have it, therefore doing every day things is like running on the spot all the time- if an ordinary person did that, they'd be tired! That's the reality of living with POTS- you have no choice- you can't "stop running" because your body is keeping you 'running' (physiologically) all the time you are standing.
*I also have Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia, which is a speedy heart rate all the time, even when I'm 'resting'. This means that for me, even sitting down is like jogging on the spot, or doing star-jumps. Basically, it's like my body never truly gets to rest. So I'm pretty much always tired!
(Check out The Spoon Theory for a good explanation of what it's like living with limited energy and having to forward plan everything to make sure you don't leave yourself short).
*Overactive Bladder (nervous system controls it, nerve signals aren't working right)
*Excess Thirst/Dehydration (if ever I find out why I have this, it'll be a miracle!)
*Migraines, or if not migraines, certainly frequent headaches.
*Neck and back pain
*Muscle aches/joint pain
*Brain fog- which makes a person forgetful and slow in their thinking, have difficulty accessing information stored in the brain, e.g. difficulty finding the right word, finishing sentences, remembering what to do and how- it's like having senile dementia; I joke about the dozy things I've done because of it because you have to laugh, otherwise you'd cry! Having an illness that disrupts your whole body is one thing, having it try to take your mind as well is another.
*Gastro-intestinal problems- bloating, reflux, feeling full quickly
*Disturbed sleep patterns (aka not sleeping well and also not feeling as if your sleep is restful even when you do).
*Involuntary muscle jerks when I'm trying to relax/sleep.
*Feeling as if I can't get enough oxygen, even though I'm breathing fine (very weird).
*Fidgety, always 'wired' feeling (makes it hard to truly relax)
*Feeling overstimulated easily
*Not being able to stand still for too long, due to excessive heart rate climbing higher and higher, which makes me feel physically 'stressed'.
There's possibly more but brain-fog makes one forgetful... I think that's enough to paint a picture anyways!
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