It's never too late... right?

All my life, I've been so 'out of it' health wise that I could never really make my mind up what I truly wanted to do. Everything I 'looked into' seemed too hard, to take too long, would be too 'scary'- too 'much' for me in my state of health.

I'm planning to apply to a teaching course that I'd start next year in September. I do love working with children and I'm sure I'd enjoy it, but I'm not sure if it would be my passion.

At the weekend, something happened that made me wonder if I might just be finding my passion. My boyfriends Mum was taken ill in hospital. She's okay, well she didn't have to be admitted anyway. But afterwards, he said something that's obviously got me thinking.

He was praising me on how I was able to help and deal with the situation, and how I had so much knowledge of medicines (and herbs) and I jokingly said "I should have been a herbalist." To which he replied "It's never too late" and went on to tell me I'd make a brilliant one.

Just thinking about actually being able to do that makes me feel excited. Makes me feel... fulfilled. Like I'd be making a difference, the kind of difference I want to make. Helping people- not just with prescribing herbs but in talking to them, listening to them, helping them holistically, making them feel valued.

Trouble is, it's not that easy. I'm 28 this year. I haven't had a 'real' job yet, ever. I need to earn money. I have limited energy. The course will cost money. It will take time (a long time if I do it part time!). I will need a job to pay for the course and my living expenses when I move in with my bf, but that means I can't do the course in 3 years, it will take FIVE. That's a long time. I'd be 33 before I could even start practising. What do I do in the meantime?? Do I apply for the teaching course? That in itself is going to be hard work. Will I be taking on too much and making my own health suffer?

Or another option is working up to a HLTA in a school like I considered before. That wouldn't have the stress of teaching at least, or the extra paperwork and hours, so might leave me more time and energy to put into the naturopathy training. But I'm not sure I'd have enough money to live on and pay for the training for 5 years!!

There's a lot I need to think about. And I've done this many times, thought of something, felt like it'd be a great thing to do, then looked deeper into it and come to the sad conclusion that it's "beyond me"

But if I keep doing that then it really WILL be beyond me; I don't want to look back in 10 years time and think, if only I'd tried when I was 27... now it really IS too late. In the same way now I'm thinking 'if only I'd realised this at 17... I'd have had more confidence to go for it, because I'd have time on my side'.

But 33 is hardly old! If I taught for 5 years and then changed careers and became a herbalist at 33, at least I'd be keeping life interesting. And then if it turned out I did find teaching really stressful, at least I'd know I'd got another option. And even if I spent the money becoming a herbalist and then didn't end up working as one because I might end up enjoying teaching, I could retire as a herbalist when teaching becomes 'too much' and even if I didn't do that, it may be worth it for the knowledge and the learning, even if I don't use it in a job-related role.

It all depends how much it costs, and whether I feel I'll be cut out for the amount of study involved (which, lets face it as we know with POTs is very daunting).

It might turn out I have to admit defeat and be 'sensible'. But I have an idea now and it's an idea that is making me feel there's something in life to be excited about again... so I'm not giving up on the idea just yet...