Change of mind...

I decided to try my medication as prescribed by the doctor. I had a good couple of weeks (great in fact, my resting tachycardia was GONE!) but all symptoms came back. It felt horrible to feel my heart pounding away again and I thought to myself, that poor muscle needs a BREAK! So, although admittedly taking medications scares me... I'm looking at taking them as a temporary measure to give my heart a break whilst I try and get stronger and better in the meantime. If it turns out I have to keep taking them, then I will so long as they IMPROVE my quality of life.

I changed my mind when my college tutor pointed out to me (because we can have honest and frank discussions about how I am feeling- she's had health problems so she understands and really listens) that having my heart overworking all the time can't be good for me, and even though Drs all say that there's no evidence of that shortening your life, when have I ever believed doctors and why take the risk?

It's hard though because part of me does feel like I am taking poison. But perhaps that's just as I've got myself into a negative mind set about pills. I wouldn't be without my overactive bladder medication for the quality of life it's given back to me compared to how my bladder was before it. I think I just worry more about taking medications for the HEART because it's like the most vital organ that we have! But then, equally I could see these medicines not as poison but as things that are aiming at the least (and hopefully one will succeed!) in PROTECTING that organ and helping it out with all this hard work its having to do due to the autonomic imbalance!

If the medicine doesn't help or improve my quality of life then I won't take it, it's that simple. But I'm going to at least give it a TRY.

So, medication number 2- diltiazem calcium channel blocker- let the trial commence.