Of brilliance and stress

I had a wonderful Easter with my boyfriend. I managed to do lots of things and haven't suffered too badly for it; I think now my hormones have settled down, I am getting stronger. I still get tachycardia and fatigue, but I'm not as shaky and weak, as I was when my hormones were playing up.

I worked out I did 16 miles of walking over the past few days! It's strange and somewhat paradoxical, but it seems the more exercise I can do, the better I feel apart from the fatigue. It's finding a balance, because if I get the balance right, I feel tired but not too tired to keep going, thus I feel better because I am being active and getting exercise, but if I do too much, I get shaky/weak and feel worse... I'm still figuring out what is 'too much' because I thought everything I did these past few days was going to end up being too much (but my philosophy was I am on holiday so I can rest afterwards and it'll be okay) and yet I'm still going... and feeling okay aside from being very tired!

Spending longer with my boyfriend than usual was fantastic and I've really missed being around him since I came home. Seeing him tomorrow once more before I go on holiday abroad. Also before I go for my tests on Friday... might finally get the tilt table test and potentially the correct diagnosis, that's assuming my IST diagnosis is wrong or at least not the full picture, but we shall see... I'm very scared, almost too scared to get my hopes up, but I AM hopeful that even if it's not POTS but IST that I have (and to be honest I'd be surprised if it was because every self poor mans tilt test I have done has indicated POTS as my heart changed by at least 30bpm, often more like 40 or 50), the person I am seeing Friday will be better equipped to treat me than the rubbish cardio I saw. Who incidentally has caused me to be taken off my overactive bladder medication that was helping me, just because it CAN increase tachycardia. But he said that was MY CHOICE based one which symptoms I felt were the worst. The increase in tachycardia isn't as bothersome to me as the bladder dysfunction and frequency and discomfort I get when not on that medication so I am really annoyed and have got to go to the Doctors tomorrow to see if my GP will go against his advice and let me back on the medication, but whether she will or not I don't know, so I'm really cross about it. I saw him back in JANUARY, so why they have taken me off the darn meds right now I don't know, it's ridiculous.

Ugh.

I just can't wait for tomorrow when I am seeing my boyfriend again so I can forget about all this med stuff and test stuff for at least a few hours. Irony is it would have been longer had I not had to come back for the bloody Doctors appointment to try and sort out this bloody debacle!!! GRRR.